It's been a while again

Again, I'm sorry. Life get's ahead of you sometimes and it takes a while for you (or me) to catch up. A lot has gone on in my life since our last encounter. My 21st Birthday for one. I know! 21! I don't feel like I'm that age. It doesn't seem right. Am I that grown up already?

I spent my 21st in Florida. Orlando to be specific. Yes of course I went to Disneyworld! How can you not?! That's not all though. I was there for two weeks and along with the Disney parks we did all the SeaWorld ones as well. I had a great time there and to say I didn't want to leave is an understatement. I really didn't want to leave.

Not only was the place great but also the people. I met some of the nicest people in America and some in particular were incredibly nice. When I say some I mean a single dad and his little boy. Yes this is going to turn into a sob story but when I met these people, they made me feel so so happy. I've never met someone else who instantly made me feel that way ever before. People have obviously made me feel happy before but not like this. This was something else. The sad part about this story though is that I left. Well, I know I had to it was the end of my holiday but I left. I spent the last couple of hours sat in the hotel lobby waiting for them to make an appearance but they never did. All I know is the man's first name. I think anyway. The more I think about it, the more I question myself about whether I even know that. Maybe I don't know a thing, I'm just trying to convince myself that I at least know something.

I cannot find him. All I have now is hope. Hope that he's looking for me too. Hope that he'll actually be able to find me.

It's been a while

I have been struggling with what to write on here for a while now. Some would call it writers block but for me I think it is partially paranoia. What people will think. If my writing is even good enough or even worth reading.

If you've been around here for a little bit of time you'll know that I have generalised anxiety disorder and ocd (I capitalised that but it seemed too bold, too overwhelming). It kind of sets me back in a number of ways but also keeps me that one step ahead at times too.
I have two big fears. One of which is myself. Why can't I just forget what people think and get on with life. Fail at certain things but then not worry about having to try again. Anxiety. It makes you think the worst in everything and as soon as you have a good day you start to think of what it is that will bring you back down. The other of my biggest fears is what becomes of myself because of my anxiety. How am I going to get perceived. Like I said, it helps me stay ahead. It helps me to stay grounded. To know what truly matters in life. I get a lot of stick at work for being boring, for not being more adventurous. I put up with it because I know inside what my interests are and what adventures I have had. Just because they know the work me, the girl with anxiety, the girl that on the outside seems boring but because that is the only girl they know, seems to make them able to call me boring. There are so many things I want to do and say and I know that my anxiety keeps me back more than I should let it but it's that that keeps me aware of my surroundings. Yes my life might not be as exciting as I would like it to be, but without my anxiety I wouldn't know who I was. This has been the way I've had to live my life for so long that I wouldn't know how to do it differently. I am my anxiety and it is me. We live in partnership.

Mini Trip to Bournemouth, England

I have plans for 2 trips so far this year. The first of which is just a mini break to Bournemouth for 4 nights with a good friend of mine. It's 50 days away! The red marker is where Bournemouth is:

Why Bournemouth? You may say. Well since I am 20 years old and a particular band from childhood have recently reconnected with each other. We are of course attending one of their concerts. Which band is that? I hear someone ask. Busted. Yes, you heard correctly, Busted. They were one of the biggest deals back in the early 2000's for the younger generation so we are definitely going to be in attendance!

Like I say we are going down there for 4 nights. The first day will probably be a lazy one really, maybe explore the local area. Luckily since Bournemouth isn't that far away from us, a 25 minute ferry ride and a 45 minute train journey, we don't have to get up at the crack of dawn. Late morning will do perfectly fine as we don't have anything specific to do.

Day 2 of our trip will be an adventure to GoApe. It's a tree top adventure course with zip wires and high ropes etc. There is one not too far from Bournemouth, which will be the one we will go to, but there are also quite a lot of them dotted around the whole country. It will be a good experience. Here's a link to their website in case anyone in the UK wants to check it out: goape.co.uk

Day 3 we may go along to a local water park but don't get too excited it's a small town with a small park it's not like some of those crazy ones you get abroad. Also depends on the weather. Since we're going near the end of May, we are hoping for it to be lovely and warm.

Day 4 as of right now we don't have any plans for the daytime other than possibly doing a bit of shopping and grabbing some lunch. It's the evening of day 4 that we're all waiting for! BUSTED! I can't actually wait. It'll be my first concert too so it'll definitely feel as if I'm 8 years old again!

Day 5. The last day of our mini vacay does not involve a lot. Getting up and having a full English breakfast and then getting a train back late morning.

This of course is just a small trip, but hopefully it will lead to bigger trips or just a few more small ones at other locations!

My Travel Bucket List

There are so many places in the world that I would love to go and explore. The hardest part of having so many places that I want to go to is where to go first. So, I have created my very own Travel Bucket List of the top 10 places that I would like to travel to in my life rather than writing a full list which would probably end up having 95% of the world's countries on it. It kind of makes it easier to determine where to go. I will now only have a decision of between 10 countries rather than 186. I will also say that my top 10 is in no particular order except for Hawai'i. That is definitely the number 1 item on my bucket list.

My Travel Bucket List:

·   Hawai'i - Yes, I would love to travel to many places in the USA but by far, Hawai'i is at the top of my USA list. Hawai'i has a kind of vibe that I want to experience. From the gorgeous beaches of Waikiki to the unbelievable views from the top of Mount Olomana. There is so much to offer. Plus I would love to swim with the sharks. Scary yes I know but I do like to have a bit of adrenaline running through my system.

Mount Olomana

·   Thailand - To be able to be up close with elephants! Mess about with them in a river. How awesome does that sound? And to Kayak in the beautiful Khao Sok National Park.

Khao Sok National Park

·   South Africa - An African safari across the Kalahari Desert seeing all those animals in the wild. Lions, zebras, giraffes! I mean, I love to see them all at the zoo so to be able to see their natural habitat would be incredible. Also I want to hike up to Lion's Head and see the stunning views across the coast of Cape Town.

·   Australia - I want to learn to surf in the waves of Bondi Beach and visit the iconic Sydney Opera House. It's one of those things that you kind of have to visit whilst in Australia.

·   Fiji - I want to stay at the Poseidon Underwater Resort. A bit different of a view from your bedroom than in a normal hotel anyway! And plus those beaches!

·   Iceland - It's a pretty cold choice but not too cold if you go to the blue lagoon. I would love to snorkel and dive through Silfra. A gap between 2 tectonic plates where you will literally be swimming between continents.

Silfra

·    Switzerland - I want to learn to ski/snowboard so the best place to do that must be Switzerland or well I guess Austria works too. Either one of those I would just love!

·    Barcelona - I don't know what it is but Barcelona just sounds like a cool place to go for a weekend getaway! Considering it is only a 2 hour flight away, a long weekend sounds perfect.

·    Peru - I want to climb to the top of Machu Picchu and hike the Inca Trail.

Machu Picchu

·    China - I would love to walk along the entire Great Wall of China but maybe just a little bit will do. I hear it is pretty large!

·    Rio de Janeiro - Carnival seems like a fun time to travel to Brazil but the thing that I would love to do most of all is to hang-glide around the Christ the Redeemer Statue. Amazing views right there.

Christ the Redeemer

You may or may not have noticed that I did add an extra one on this list because as I was writing, I did think of another place that I couldn't help but have on here. So that's my top 11 destinations on my Travel Bucket List. This is going to take me a while to complete but hopefully one day it will be done.

I'm making a change.

I've always wanted to write a blog but never really knew what kind of blog I wanted it to be. I thought for ages and with still no luck I thought, why don't I just write about everything so I started with my daily life. As it progressed and I was working 12 hour days at work for 5 days a week, it became boring without any thing to talk about. I took a little break and am now realising I want to lean more towards the travelling side of life. I've always loved to travel and my bucket list is full of different places around the world and different things I want to do, so why not use that as a base for my blog. Plus my blogs title is already pretty perfect. 'This World Is An Oyster'. It is and hopefully now with my new blog, I'll be able to explore it.

February 17th and 18th 2016

Sorry I wasn't able to post yesterday, I'll put it in now before today.

February 17th:
Started off with work once again, 11-5 though not all day thank god. It was pretty quiet considering what the previous 2 days have been like. Went home and had chicken Korma for dinner and some cream eggs. Watched Grey's Anatomy and relaxed. That was pretty much my day.

February 18th:
Today is less eventful than yesterday because I am working all day long. Yay. Just hear the sarcasm in that.

It happeneed to be hell. Lunch was hell, I had to call for reinforcements although I ruined his evening plans he did say yes to coming in saying it meant more money. Fair enough. The evening was hell as well but luckily because we had the reinforcement it wasn't as bad as if it was just the 2 of us.

February 16th 2016

Today I had work between 11 and 5. It's now the school holidays here so I was expecting it to be busy. Maybe not that busy though. It was hell and I am so grateful for my boss coming in to help because of he hadn't, it would've just been me and a trainee. Now that wouldn't of been fun. Other than it being busy customer wise, we had a laugh. I like working with the people I did today because even with the stresses of work we can always get on and make the most out of it.

After work I went home via a pit stop for tampons (sorry for the info but I did that today so thought I should share) and sweet treats for myself, and just had a margherita pizza for dinner and chocolate cheesecake for dessert.

I spent the evening watching greys anatomy alongside some colouring whilst I ate my sweet treats.

February 15th 2016

Today was a day of work for me. I got up at about 9.30 finished watching The Good Dinosaur which I'd started a couple day ago, it was a cute film, had some bits to eat and just relaxed really.

Dad went to work about 1pm and I went down the town to the travel agents to find out about Orlando Park Tickets and then collected my winnings from a scratchcard.

I came home and started to place the rigging on my mod ship whilst I watched the fastest episodes of Hawaii Five-0 and The Walking Dead. Fishcakes, chips and beans for dinner followed by Eton mess and Grey's Anatomy.

A bit of relaxing adult colouring and then some stressful online shopping. I needed to find something to wear to a funeral that I have on Monday. I don't want to wear what I did 6 weeks ago at the last funeral because it is majority of the same people. So I found a dress online and hopefully when it arrives it'll be all good.

February 14th 2016

It's Valentine's Day today and I have no Valentine, no chocolate, no romantic dinner, but I do have work! From 11am until 10pm. Fun times.

It wasn't so bad though. The time went quite quick and the evening wasn't as busy as I thought it might be considering it was Valentine's Day. I must've finished about 9.15.

I went home, showered and just got into bed really. Watched some youtube vlogs and played mahjong. When I have to be at work all day long it doesn't really leave enough time for anything else.

February 13th 2016

My day started with another trip to work. 11 til 5 today but it's with the worst person who I work with so I knew before I went that it'll be a drag.

The time itself didn't go too slowly, it was just the crap that comes out of his mouth. That person has to know everything and definitely wants everyone else to know about the useless crap he knows as well. Luckily though, he didn't put any music on.

After work I went home and had chicken pie for dinner and then made pancakes. Yes I know it's not pancake day anymore but Dad didn't have any on Tuesday so as an excuse for me to have some more, I made him some.

Other than that I didn't really do a whole lot else. Watched Law and Order, Grey's Anatomy that I needed to catch up on, played some mahjong and relaxed.

February 12th 2016

Travelling home today from my mini vacay. 2 trains, a boat, another train and a walk up a hill with my suitcase. It took about 3 hours in total to get home, everything worked to the correct time. It was a simple journey.

I got home and first thing I did was have a shower. Not because I smelt but because there is something about being in your own home, showering in your own shower and eating your own food. After my shower I felt so much better. So comfy in my woolly pyjamas. But I dare not to get too cosy because in 2 hours I had work. If I got too comfy I would fall asleep and then never want to go to work. Instead I started watching The Good Dinosaur. I had heard it was good and it looked cute so thought I'd check it out.

Work was boring, not very busy but surprisingly the time went pretty quickly. I had work from 5 until close. I managed to get out by 9.30. 

I got home, put on my pyjamas again which I secretly had placed on one of our radiators so I just new it would be toasty and warm for me. Got in bed and relaxed with a not so relaxing episode of Grey's Anatomy which has just come back off it's midseason break.

February 11th 2016

After some people getting back from a club at 3.30 this morning, I went back to sleep and woke up around 9. I watched the latest episode of Chicago P.D. whilst I waited for a friend to wake up and then got up and ready.

Not much was planned for today. Just a trip to town to go shopping and a cafe. I ordered a hot chocolate without thinking. I had decided yesterday to give up chocolate for lent since it is the majority of my diet! I quickly changed my order to a strawberry and banana smoothie. It was delicious.

Went back to the house and relaxed. Had a Google. Had a sausage pasta dinner, some fudge, cupcake poptart and some sweet popcorn. Watched the end of Ant Man.

Very quiet day today and also my last day on my mini holiday. I go home tomorrow.

February 10th 2016

Today is a lazy day. Had a shower and got dressed and ready. Watched the latest Chicago Med and Chicago Fire episodes. Drew a picture of a tree. Don't know why it just happened.

I ate a no mayo chicken sandwich. It's yoghurt and creme fraiche instead of the mayo. Less fat or something apparently. It's healthier.

Went out about 4.30 to go to some bar because the people where I'm staying are insane and start drinking early and also it's a Wednesday. I don't get the hype.

I had 2 drinks where everyone else seemed to have like 2 bottles. I didn't know anyone either so they were having conversations about things, people of which I had no clue so I just sat there. We ate chicken wings and eventually left at about 11.30.

The others decided to go out to some club. I had no desire whatsoever so I am now in my friends bed while they're out partying.

That was it for today.

February 9th 2016

Today is the day we go to London!

I am extremely excited. We have booked to go to Madame Toussauds and ride the London Eye. We get into London Waterloo station around 10.40am and immediately go down to get the tube to Baker Street. It takes about 10 minutes on the tube but it literally drops you outside the Madame Toussauds door. With a bit of confusion as to which door we're supposed to enter, some helpful male worker said as camp as can be 'Door 4, priority darling!'

Through door 4 it was very posh. Huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling. A stair case up either side. We were excited by just that. We hadn't even seen anyone famous yet.

We met tons of people ranging from Johnny Depp and Brangelina to E.T. and Yoda. With a 4D Marvel experience as well thrown in. It was awesome.

After a quick bite to eat at a Costa across the road, we got on the tube back to Waterloo to go and ride the London Eye. You see the views in pictures but when you see it in person it is breath-taking. I didn't realise it went so high in the air. Amazing view and the sun even made an appearance so it was totally worth it!

A brisk walk was had up the river and back down the other side towards Big Ben. And when I say brisk I mean it, jeez I thought I was a fast walker! Went back to Waterloo and got on the next train and with a quick stop, we left the house again to go out for dinner. And since it's pancake day can you guess what I had for dinner? Yep pancakes. For main and for pudding. Met a couple new people and had no clue what to say to them, I just sat and listened to their conversations. They probably think I'm weird. Pretty normal there then.

That was it really. Went back to the house and watched some videos. The Ellen show included and got into bed. Today tired me out.

February 8th 2016

Today is the first day of a mini holiday for me. I am travelling off of our small island and into the real world by myself for the 3rd time in my entire life. Baring in mind 1 of those times I was dropped off at the ferry terminal one side and then someone was waiting for me the other so in actual fact I was by myself for about 25 minutes. The other 2 times I was travelling further than that. I had to get 2 trains. It'll take me 3 hours to get home.

The weather was showers with 60-70 mph winds. Trying to get across the water and walk round to the training station with a suit case was ridiculous. Nearly got blown over.

The train journey was pretty simple. I kept checking if I had all of my tickets and things though which started to get aggravating.

I arrived at my destination where my friend was waiting for me. We went to where we are staying, had lunch and then she went to a uni briefing and I wrote on here.

We went out for dinner at what looked like a fancy restaurant but was quite cheap. Salmon discharges and a pineapple, banana and passionfruit smoothie.

My night is finishing with Ant Man.

Missed a couple weeks..

For the next couple weeks I didn't really write down what I did or didn't do but basically I went to work when I had to be at work and sat at home when I didn't have to be at work. It was a whole lot.

I hope you dont mind but I am going to skip the last couple weeks and continue from now. Like I say, I never did anything that exciting that is even worth boring you about.

January 14th 2016

Before I knew it, today was going to be the worst day of my life so far.

As soon as I woke up I was constantly shuddering. I got up shuddering. Had a shower shuddering and left the house all while still shuddering. I knew kind of the reason but still not 100% why.

I left home and headed to my Grampy's house for 11 o'clock. Just to let you know, I was still shuddering.

Half 11 was the time it would all start. We were all sat squashed into 1 small room in our smart attire just waiting, not sure what to do. Half eleven came and we were all now standing outside the front gate watching down the road. Watching him come along slowly.

When he arrived, I couldn't look. It was too much. I got into the car and watched the funeral conductor walk my Grampy up the road past his home where he had lived for nearly 60 years.

We followed behind the hearse to the cremetorium. I was trying not to look because I knew I would start to cry so I chose quick glances. He lay there, still, with the Merchant Navy flag draped over him and our flower wreaths placed on top.

At the crematorium we were treated by the celebrant that was to do the service and gently asked me if I was still willing to read a small passage which I had agreed to a week or so ago. I nodded yes as when he asked, that was the moment I began to cry and could not stop. I went and sat down as I couldn't bear to follow him anymore. People I didn't think would come were there. The place was full.

Other than the celebrant. I was the only one to read anything. It was the hardest thing I have ever done but would do it again. I would do anything for my Grampy. I managed most of the passage without too much hassle but by the end I was crying.

Amazing Grace was one of the chosen songs for the service. I knew that before the service began. The thing I didn't know was the version played was played by bagpipes. I wept a little more. My Nanny was Scottish. Grampy's wife. She passed nearly 8 years ago. An emotional tribute to both of them.

After the service we had a wake. Food and drink and old photos. It was from then I stopped shuddering but I think that was from the alcohol I drank.

I went home later that day, ate pizza and went to sleep. I was glad it was over but also glad I could say one last goodbye to the world's most amazing man. In my eyes anyway.

January 13th 2016

Today was also a day of work. 11am-9.30pm today. It was less busy than yesterday and I managed to get the main jobs I needed to do done.

I watched Chicago Med in my break this afternoon whilst Aaron played poker.

Also pretty much it. Being at work doesn't really give much time for anything else.

January 12th 2016

Work was all day today from 11am til 9.45pm. It was one of those days where I had a lot of jobs to do anyway but every person in the whole country wanted to come in as well. Plus I was the only one working. ARGH stressed! I couldn't stop crying either that day. Everything was just getting to me.
I got home at 10 and pretty much just crashed out. Yet again another not so productive day.

January 11th 2016

I had to go back to work after my week off today but luckily it was only 11am-5pm. It did drag though. And all I did when I got home was catch up on the latest Chicago PD, Fire and Med and then some YouTube and went to bed.

I think this was probably the least busy day of this year so far.

January 10th 2016

I woke up after a lay in today. It was the last day of my week off so I was entitled to it! I had another email from the cemetery this morning. The man, how lovely if he, went out to the cemetery with an ID marker and placed it on the Dunford grave! It didn't have a stone so I wouldn't of found it myself anyway but how nice is that someone finding it for me. Even sent pictures. I was blown away by his generosity. There turns out to be 2 Dunford's  in that grave by the way. Turns out they were sisters who died within a week or so of eachother at the start of 1981 (the date on the letter). They lived next door to Nanny and Grampy and so that would be how my Nan knew them.

The rest of my day was of me cleaning out my fish tank since Pedro died the other day and then me going to our Pets at Home shop for a 'look' and coming home with 3 new fishies!

I finished my evening by watching the Seahawks NFL Playoff game against the Vikings. W10-9 it was close end finish. Lucky the Viking missed their extra point kick in the last 30 seconds of the game!

January 9th 2016

Today was a get up and go kind of day. Went to Grampy's house with a picnic lunch. Egg sandwiches, Quavers and a KitKat and looked through some old photo albums. Inside one was some pictures of when my Mum must've been about 2. She was on my Grampy's boat with Grampy and Nanny and I believe it was the day the Queen sailed up our river on a boat.

We went to the flower shop down the road to order our bouquet or whatever they're called. the flowers that go on top of a coffin. We chose red and white, since others had chosen, yellow, purple and blue colours for their ones. I also had to pick up a little card to write Grampy a message on.

I got called a cheeky sod in M&Co. Mum found some jeans she liked that were a size 12. I comment was a simple question of 'When was the last time you bought a size 12?' and I got called names. It was funny though. Dad laughed.

I had found online earlier that the grave Nanny bought was under the name Dunford. And through some research I found out approximately where in the cemetery it would be. And even though it was absolutely pouring with rain, I got Mum and Dad to take me to find it. And no we didn't find it. We just got soaked standing out in the rain.

When I got home I had another quick look online about this grave of Nanny's and found an email address for the organisation who look after the church and cemetery. I sent them a message about what I had found and wondered on a long shot if they had any information. Surprisingly I got an email back within an hour with a more detailed map and exactly the point in the cemetery where they are. How great is that?!

I went to bed chuffed that I knew more about it.

January 8th 2016

Still on my week off work today and I woke up at 3am from a nightmare. I wasn't awake too long and by the time I woke up again at 10.30! I had forgotten all about it.

I didn't do a whole lot today. Mum went out to see her friend and to get Grampy's will sorted. I spent the afternoon, about 6 hours, scanning all of Grampy's Army paperwork (which I found in the same draw as Nanny's grave confirmation letter, of which I still haven't found anything significant about it) and old photos onto my computer. I finally stopped scanning when dinner was ready. Cottage pie today.

I caught up on some of my YouTube subscriptions, Chicago PD episode 3.09 and Chicago Fire episode 4.08. Ate some chocolate, marzipan and a strawberry Yeo Valley yoghurt and went to bed about 11.30.

Told you, didn't do a whole lot today.

January 7th 2016

My Mum had her annual MRI appointment today so I decided to go with her, do a bit of shopping in town etc. etc. The appointment was at 11.30 and took about a half an hour. She also had to change her clothes and couldn't have any metal on her at all for magnetic reasons I presume. They gave her these orange pyjama things which in my opinion made her look like a prisoner! just without the inmate number on the front. Whilst Mum was in the MRI, one of Grampy's doctors rushed by with a woman in a bed. I didn't catch everything but I believe it was her mother being rushed into CT. The woman didn't look very healthy. I hope she's ok now though. Fingers crossed.

Once the MRI was done I treated Mum to a coffee and éclair in Dunelm Mill around the corner. I had a pepsi and a lemon and poppy seed muffin. Was delicious. We had a quick look around the shop while we were there and bought Christmas crackers, napkins and a new tree decoration for our next Christmas. 11.5 months away...

Our next appointment of the day was until 2.40pm so we had at least an hour and a half to kill in the meantime. We went into town and decided to go to M&S as we don't usually and I did find a nice, simple neckless with the letter S on. The S stands for Grampy's name.

Went over the road to Morrison's and for the last couple days I have been fancying a pizza so I found one 'Mediterranean veg' and I did buy some extra mozzarella.

Our next appointment was to the Registry office. To register Grampy's death. I hope you don't mind but I'd rather not get into much detail on that one.

I put my pizza in the oven to cook. It takes about 15 minutes on 200C. I went into the other room and totally forgot about it. About 30 minutes later Dad called for me and it was then I realised my pizza was still in the oven, probably black. I ran to it's rescue and luckily I had put the temperature too low on 170C and so the pizza turned out to be cooked perfectly! Must have been luck.

That was about it for January 7th for me. I watched a bit of TV and went to bed after that.

January 6th 2016

I have been gone for a few days now, I apologise, let me catch up a bit.

January 6th:
Had to set my alarm for 9am today. I didn't want to get up but we were going to Grampy's house via a quick stop on the way at Curry's for ink cartridges for our printer.

I was having a look in a couple cupboards at Grampy's finding some odd bits. For instance, there was a secret draw in the end of a fold away table, I opened it and the first thing I find is a pinecone. Yep a pinecone. Weird, must've had a meaning at some point big enough for someone to keep it. Also, in another draw I found a letter addressed to my late Nan with a date on of 1981. It was a confirmation of her buying a grave plot in the nearby cemetery. I showed the letter to my Mum and she had never heard of it. Later that evening my Mum on the phone to my aunt also had no clue what that was about. No one had heard of Nan buying a grave or wanting to be buried. We gave her a cremation.

I did a brief search online on my phone whilst at Gramp's but couldn't see anything specific. I carried on looking around the house and thought I would have a proper look on my laptop once I got home. I found a plastic 3d puzzle of an apple. I took that home to do. It was a little tricky but I got there eventually. Lastly I found an old picture of my brother in the classic Grampy's apron for his workshop outback, the backwards jacket that at some point all us grandkids probably wore.

I did have another brief look online about the grave letter on my laptop but still didn't really find anything. My brother, Dad and I were going out this evening to the cinema to see the new Star Wars. When we got there I found out we were seeing it in 3d (even better!) and when we bought the tickets it came up with 'Screen 2', this is the deluxe room in our cinema (even better still!) I got the midweek special as it was a Wednesday which was Small popcorn and a small drink for £4 something.

The film was awesome! So good. Seeing it in 3d too was pretty cool. When we came out of the screen we all did the usual of going to the loo. And one point for the ladies. I was the first out of the loo and I was the one who had to wait for the others! When they finally did make an appearance my brother ran towards me and did a karate jumpy kicky thingy. Some man behind laughed and said 'Has someone just seen Star Wars?'

We got home around 10 and I finished my night off with finishing a fizzy sweet puzzle, those pink and blue bottle shaped ones, which I had started Boxing Day 2014.

January 5th 2016

January 5th started off by being woken up at 9.20 by the phone. About the same time as yesterday I believe. It was Joan, Grampy's friend, wanting to know details of Grampy's funeral. I tried to go back to sleep but it didn't work too well; I eventually got up at 10.

Mum and I went into town to do a bit of January sales shopping although we didn't find much. We stopped in Matalan first. It's just outside the main town area so you either go there first - if you have the car with you that is- or you don't go there at all. I tried on this white crocheted top. I kinda liked it but there was something about it and when I'm not sure about an item of clothing. I tend not to get it. Because really, will I actually wear it?

I drove around to Morrison's; you get 2 hours parking for free in there. You don't need to even spend £5 in the shop anymore. Found a nice spot nearest to the shops. We walked around to the local paper shop so we could place Grampy's death announcement in this weeks issue to notify anyone we haven't told and to give date and time of the funeral to anyone wanting to come.

I didn't really buy anything on this shopping trip. 6 rolls of Christmas wrapping paper for £1! Ready for Christmas in 11.5 months time... A cardboard Taj Mahal 3d puzzle, a 20p cloudy lemonade and a toffee crisp (which I think mum bought). I ate that when we got back to the car.

When we got home I had to bury my fish Pedro. I waited to see if it was going to stop raining so I wouldn't get wet burying him but it didn't look like it would so I went anyway. I got soaked but I managed to bury Pedro with Norman and Alfred in the garden. I stopped raining. As soon as I stepped back inside my house.

I took down our Christmas decorations today. It was sad. While I took down the tree I watched Hawaii Five-0 1x03 and a couple episodes of Friends. One of which included the famous Ross 'Pivot!' trying to get a sofa up the stairs.

I went out for dinner today with a friend of mine. No special occasion just general catch up chat. I had a 'French Hen Burger' it was garlic chicken and came with an Everest of chips. My friend had vegetable pasta with garlic bread and I bet nobody liked our breaths the rest of that night.

About 3 hours later I got home. I watched some YouTube vlogs including: Shay and Collette's 13th Wedding Anniversary, Charles Trippy's No More Chemo and a Bonnie Hoellein with Boston crying at the fire place.

I made my tiny Taj Mahal puzzle and went to bed about 1 but couldn't get to sleep until about 3.

January 4th 2016 - Lasagne, TV and biscuits.

Day 4 of 2016. Day 1 of my week off work and I get woken up by the phone ringing. Let's just say I wasn't too pleased about it. I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and had a shower.

Dad had found a picture of my Grandpa which was perfect for the front of Gramps' Order of Service so I spent the next couple hours trying to get our scanner to work from my laptop and then the image needed recolouring as it was a bit bright when printed etc. But was easily fixable.

The rest of the afternoon for me included sitting on the couch watching Wild at Heart and Friends with custard creams and bourbon biscuits. Wasn't bad. Though my fish died at some point. His swim bladder went and had been swimming awkwardly for  the past couple days. RIP Pedro. Found a box which would do as a coffin and dad got him out his tank all wrapped up for his burial the next day. Yes I bury my fish; the royal flush isn't good enough in this house.

Lasagne and garlic bread was for dinner tonight. It was delicious. I ate more than I thought I would. It was followed by me catching up with NCIS:LA and youtube. I got into bed at 10.30 but doubt I actually went to sleep until at least 1 am.

January 3rd 2016

A pretty uneventful day for me today, not a lot going on. I had work from 11 until finish; I believe I finished about 9.15. Not too shabby. It was a pretty quiet day; lunchtime was dead so was forced to have my break at 2pm which I hate, having my break too early makes the rest of the day drag a little too much but we do get an hour though.

I remember having a turkey roast dinner as it was a Sunday, with roast spuds, carrots -about 5 pieces, I'm not a fan but I have to get my veggies in me somehow- and a big Yorkshire pudding. Although I couldn't manage the whole thing.

Had a chat about the karaoke night up the bar along the road, about nearly falling asleep at work and about getting me a new drink because I had just ran out, with a member of our bar staff. And went home without too much of an OCD struggle for the day.

Once I got home I ate 3 mini sausage rolls, a brownie and 2 custard creams in the space of 5 minutes, watched the end of an episode of Castle where a Chinese woman killed a Chinese man named Henry so that she wouldn't end up alone but she just ended up in prison instead and a quick snippet of the Royal Variety Performance, a repeat from what was on at Christmas, then to bed and probably watching some tv and not going to sleep until at least 1am.

2nd January 2016

Day 2 of the new year and after finally falling asleep at 3am, I woke at 9.30 and then shortly after that,my brother knocked on my bedroom door.

We were taking Nan out for a couple hours, and when I say couple hours, it was more like 5. It started off with a trip to Dunelm Mill, she had a voucher and Paul needed new bedding. I bought myself a new duvet and pillow case set called 'Gatsby' and Nan bought a new dining room light fixture with her voucher.

Curry's was next for Paul to buy new headphones. I, mind you, played on the Rockband they had set up to play. It was short lived. The controller kept losing signal. Also when playing the drums and then having to get your foot going on the peddle at the same time, that's very difficult.

After Curry's we decided to pop over to Ryde and to BusyBee for a quick browse at their January sales which turns out there really wasn't much of a sale. So proceeding to the café, it was us grandkids treating with 2 teas, 2 large hot chocolates, 2 fruit scones (BusyBee scones are delicious by the way) and a lemon meringue pie. Oh before Christmas, Dad and I went to BusyBee quickly and noticed a real cat sat on top of a fake reindeer. No jokes here, it was a totally real cat sat on a fake reindeer in the middle of a shop. And guess what, the cat was still there today, same exact spot. Paul being the childish person he is flicked the cats ear and it jumped. It was definitely a real cat.

Tesco was our next stop, I won £1 on a scratch card, had a sample shot of prosecco, and bought a caramel chocolate tasting game which we played after we had had a roast dinner. You basically had to just eat the caramels and try and guess the correct flavour. It was 10 minutes worth of entertainment for £1.50.

Dropped Nan back off at her home with her shopping then to watch the Minions movie which I got on DVD for Christmas. Nearly managed to see all of it but my track record for watching films in 2016 and not falling asleep half way through is already failing.

Junior Monopoly was the game of choice tonight as Mum wanted a simple game and Paul wanted Monopoly. I lost.

Carrying on from last night, I added/changed a few bits on Grampy's Order of Service and then his Newspaper announcement. Put my new duvet and pillow set on my bed, got in bed and then watched a couple episodes of Grey's Anatomy (episodes 6.03 and 6.04 to be precise) and then eventually fell asleep not that long after 3 am.

Productive day wouldn't you say.

January 1st 2016

First of all I would like to say Happy New Year to everyone. I hope you had a great start to 2016.

My New Year started off with having to go to work. Yippee! I remember I wore jeggings from h&m and teal colour vans with a floral jumper. Random I know.

Work was ok I guess. I was there from 11-5 which is not as bad as it could've been. It was pretty busy over the lunch time. Not so much as in we struggled but enough to keep us on our feet. Dean had a hangover from hell; he apparently rushed to the loo twice to vomit. Said he felt better after though. His own fault.

At the end of work I got changed and as I went to sign out on the timesheet I got drawn on the neck by Louis. A smiley face. I said nothing rude. Glad he obliged.
I got home by 5.30 and Icelands fishcakes, chios (chips if you haven't gathered ;) I'm calling them chios because when someone -not naming names- types chips at work on the till they misspell it as chios so I'm using that from now on) and also peas were already cooking for me. Thank you Mum.

After dinner Tangled was on the tv and I'd never seen it before so I wanted to today. I don't remember all of it. I may or may not have fallen asleep a few times haha. My head was definitely nodding. Otherwise though it was good.

I scoffed a bunch of biscuits. Custard creams (my favourites), chocolate digestives and bourbons!

I woke up fully when the film finished at about 8pm so my folks and I played junior scrabble. We were awake but not awake enough for regular scrabble. By the time we stopped playing, it was at least 10pm. I got out my laptop and wrote out my Grandpa's Order of Service from mums notes. I put that away not long before midnight. I had done enough of that for one day. I finally went to bed watching youtube videos including the Shaytards in Hawaii, Noah from SamikaVlogs doing the splits and Danny Duncan and Charles Trippy's vlogs of them at Travis Clark's clued party.

That wraps up my first day of 2016. See you soon for January 2nd.

My absence

I know I have been away from here for a while, I do apologise, but I have had a whole lot of crap going on in my life. Basically my Grandpa was ill from the start of November 2015, in hospital: 2surgeries, life support, pnuemonia, multiple organ failure etc etc. I'm not going to go into anymore detail about that right now. But my Grandpa died on December 25th 2015. Christmas day of all days eh. He did pick his moments I tell you.

It's been difficult but from now hopefully I can get back on track. Starting with this blog! I am thinking of posting my day to day goings on in my life over the whole of 2016. I'm hoping to get something up each day but I am telling you now I am not making that a promise. I'll try my best though. I hope you will follow me along this new journey of mine.

Love Katie.

P.S I know I am already a 8 days behind schedule but I am hoping to catch up with that asap!

You Are Not Aone

I have a couple different fears one of which is spiders. I hate the damned things. All creepy with the excessive amount of legs.
I have a big fear of being alone. Of never finding anyone to spend the rest of my life with. I think about this nearly every day but I just have to keep telling myself I'm not. I do believe I'm not alone; well I at least force myself to believe that I'm not alone. It's just when I get home and I'm by myself again, that's when I have to reassure myself over and over that once again, that I am not, ever alone.

I just want you all to know that you are not ever alone either. There is always someone else.  Always someone to talk to no matter what you're going through. Don't ever believe that you are alone. Talk to me. I'll be here.