January 14th 2016

Before I knew it, today was going to be the worst day of my life so far.

As soon as I woke up I was constantly shuddering. I got up shuddering. Had a shower shuddering and left the house all while still shuddering. I knew kind of the reason but still not 100% why.

I left home and headed to my Grampy's house for 11 o'clock. Just to let you know, I was still shuddering.

Half 11 was the time it would all start. We were all sat squashed into 1 small room in our smart attire just waiting, not sure what to do. Half eleven came and we were all now standing outside the front gate watching down the road. Watching him come along slowly.

When he arrived, I couldn't look. It was too much. I got into the car and watched the funeral conductor walk my Grampy up the road past his home where he had lived for nearly 60 years.

We followed behind the hearse to the cremetorium. I was trying not to look because I knew I would start to cry so I chose quick glances. He lay there, still, with the Merchant Navy flag draped over him and our flower wreaths placed on top.

At the crematorium we were treated by the celebrant that was to do the service and gently asked me if I was still willing to read a small passage which I had agreed to a week or so ago. I nodded yes as when he asked, that was the moment I began to cry and could not stop. I went and sat down as I couldn't bear to follow him anymore. People I didn't think would come were there. The place was full.

Other than the celebrant. I was the only one to read anything. It was the hardest thing I have ever done but would do it again. I would do anything for my Grampy. I managed most of the passage without too much hassle but by the end I was crying.

Amazing Grace was one of the chosen songs for the service. I knew that before the service began. The thing I didn't know was the version played was played by bagpipes. I wept a little more. My Nanny was Scottish. Grampy's wife. She passed nearly 8 years ago. An emotional tribute to both of them.

After the service we had a wake. Food and drink and old photos. It was from then I stopped shuddering but I think that was from the alcohol I drank.

I went home later that day, ate pizza and went to sleep. I was glad it was over but also glad I could say one last goodbye to the world's most amazing man. In my eyes anyway.