OCD

When someone says to you OCD you immediately think of someone putting things straight and in line with something else or someone having to turn off wall switches when there is nothing plugged into them.

Well, there are actually 4 main types of OCD. I have the checking one. If I turn off a plug for example, I'm never convinced that I have actually done it. I have to check over and over again that it is off. Even though I can see that it's off and know I have turned it off, there is still something in the back of my mind telling me that it's not. What if it's not off?

This checking type of OCD is part of everything in my life. I can't shut the fridge door without going back a couple times to make sure it is shut. I can't leave the house alone without being there for 5 minutes making sure I have locked the front door. It is debilitating. I have to focus my entire life around how it'll be easier for me to do things without too much pressure in my mind from the OCD.

One time it took me half an hour to leave my front door to go to work. I had missed both buses that would get me to work on time all because I panicked. Hysterical crying. Couldn't breathe. The lot. I only eventually got away from the door because I ran to a neighbours house and got them to make sure I locked it and then they very kindly took me to work.

It isn't always so bad. Every day is a new day and you never know what that's going to bring. Staying positive helps. Staying positive about everything in my life makes the effects of my OCD less invasive. It's not so bad if I don't stress about anything. Panicking makes it worse. Always.

Let's begin

Hi, I am new to this; I'm trying something different.

My name is Katie. I have issues with confidence, ocd and anxiety and the fear of being alone.

I'm trying something different to see what my potential is; to see if I am capable of this and not just sit back and watch my life pass me by. Something new is terrifying. Something new is brave. But the only way to find out what I am truly capable of is to take the risk. Just jump right in and not look back. That is my way of thinking anyway.

I hope you enjoy the ride.